Half Marathon Training

Maybe its just me, but when I think of Half-stuff, I think of only good things. Like when your buddy wants to go halfs on the bill. Or when your mom cut your sandwhich in half for school. Or when your sentencing for a major felony gets cut in half because you were able to escape because that stupid wardon only has half a brain!

See, only good things come to mind. But apparently when you're training for a half marathon, the only thing that comes to other people's mind is that you are a fancy-pantsed little pansy.

Total A-hole: "Oh hey, hear you are doing the rock and roll marathon, good for you!

Me: "Yeah, it should be fun. I'm not much of a long distance guy, but I'm going for it!"

Total A-hole: "That's cool. Yeah I remember when my mom and grandma ran their first marathon, they said it was great but by mile 17 my grandma said she was getting alittle tired but she recovered by mile 18 and at the end she was able to do an all out sprint to the finish. Everyone was so impressed cause, you know, her being 70 and all. So make sure you push past that 17th mile. I promise it's worth it. Grandma couldnt stop talking about how easy it was after that!"

Me: "Well, I wont really have to worry about that since I'm only doing the half marathon. But mile 8 is definitely pretty tough. My legs start hurting and I think I may need a new pair of shoes."

Total A-hole: "Yeah, like high heels you princess."

Me: "You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, old lady"

Total A-hole: "Yeah well you got a lot of nerve wearing men's clothes when your obviously a little bitch."

Me: "Well how about you get punched in the face, by ME!"

Total A-hole: "Bring it on, little man!"

And that is the story about why I am never allowed back in a Pottery-Barn.
Is that what we were talking about? I cant remember cause of the concussion. Man that old lady was a super dirty fighter. What kind of old lady carries around a set a brass knuckles and a black jack? Good foresight on her part.

Wish me luck on the half marathon Sunday!